Don’t give money to Cloud Atlas

No need to see it or fund it or encourage it when you have me — someone who sat through all three hours at the movie theater. 

So here are some things about the movie!!

  • The wachowskis found out about the book through Natalie Portman, flag number one
  • The movie involves “souls” changing race and genders in about six different plots across time. 
  • As everyone knows, there’s a lot of brownface, yellowface, and blackface that happens. 
  • And even if you restrain yourself enough to /not/ think about how offensive those acts in themselves are, it’s still awful that the makeup artists and actors didn’t even seem to try. No commitment to accents. Lazy upside down V mustache type eyebrows for the white actors playing Koreans. Smudges of brown on white actors playing black folk. 
  • About this “best actor for the job” business? Korean Jim Sturgess had an english accent so yeah… I’m going to have to call bullshit on your “best actor” defense. 
  • One storyline involved a Jim Sturgess from the 1800s being saved by a black slave after Jim Sturgess saved the slave’s life. This storyline ended with Jim Sturgess and his wife, the korean actress dressed as a white person, saying “I’m going to join the abolitionists because it turns out that slaves are people too!!!!!!!” Hugo Weaving, who plays the oppressive force in every storyline says “this won’t work!!!!” and white boy jim sturgess really sticks it to him!
  • Another storyline involves Halle Berry looking past her high class and Tom Hanks’ crustiness to help save him and his people from Hugh Grant and his band of cannibals. Tom Hanks and Halle Berry have many biracial children which is a big fuck u to racism right guys???!!!!!
  • Ben Whishaw’s character has a boyfriend, works with a composer, sleeps with his wife (White! Halle Berry) and then proceeds to have a depressing life. I’m assuming this storyline is to serve the purpose of love having no gender. Fair enough. 
  • Professor Slughorn and his group of elderly folk escape a nursing home (in which Hugo Weaving plays an “oppressive” busty nurse) and a movie gets made about him
  • Another storyline involves Halle Berry being a journalist and saving the world with her groundbreaking expose of a company. In the process her life gets saved by the korean actress donning brownface who says “don’t call me a wetback” to another form of hugo weaving. Because at the end of the day we’re all the same right!!!
  • And the Neo Seoul storyline — what a great story, huh? Korean ladies being manufactured to work as slaves and then sold back to the consumers for meat until Korean Jim Sturgess helps to break the main girl free and help her to spread word about truth knowledge and love. If only this storyline didn’t involve at least five actors putting on yellowface to sell the story…
  • In defense of the brown/yellow/blackfacing, Lana Wachowski and her red dreadlocks having self, as well as many other people who support this film raise up their fists, co-opt poc struggles for their personal struggles and yell TRANSCENDENCE! FREE LOVE! COLORBLINDNESS!
Now, even if you don’t understand the implications and history of cultural appropriation and reducing culture and race to a costume, you have to admit that their shoddy make up work and half assed accents presented to you as “hey this is what we think you look like” are mighty offensive.
I understand that the book was probably very good and the concept of multi-dimensional lives is great and some revolutionary ideas presented were top notch


White people behind this movie, you cannot sell a story about being boundless and colorblind and genderless while committing acts that deliver horrible representations of the different races, cultures, and genders you so badly want everyone to respect and love.

White people behind this movie, you used the same actors and made them swap races in every single plot, and you showed a white person learning the error of his racist ways after obtaining that obligatory singular black friend, showing that race is an easily understandable and interchangeable thing. How am I supposed to buy your messages of universal empathy if you’re implying that race doesn’t constitute a bulk of a person’s identity. How am I supposed to buy your messages of colorblindness if you’re too blind that you can’t see that race isn’t just a costume? It’s not something you can throw off. It’s not something that can be ignored. It’s not just a skin color. It’s not just a language or a piece of clothing or whatever the fuck can be read about in a book or learned from a movie or even time spent in a different place or with different people. It’s hundreds of things wrapped up in an appearance that could deny you access to even the most basic of rights needs and privileges.

Now unfortunately, the academy and all of its old white people will probably be wanking over this movie because they’ll think “yes FINALLY! a movie about ACCEPTANCE AND UNDERSTANDING! not like those other films who deliver firsthand experiences but we bunch up in one category called ‘foreign’”

White people, when you make movies like these, and when you support movies like these, it shows that you would rather learn about racism through the mouths and eyes of white people who reduce race to a costume than from the people who can’t just remove their race and all of the things that come with it at the end of the day.

White people, stop selling messages about colorblindness when the reason you’re able to sell your messages in the first place is due to your whiteness. How am I supposed to buy the shit you’re selling if you pass up people of color in favor of white people “who are the best actors for the job” and still try to tell me you’re being an equal opportunist anti-capitalist free-lover.

Don’t give money to this movie. Because when you shell out your 12 bucks for this movie, the wachowskis don’t think  ”this is side-eye money”. They think “these people believe in our art!”
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